Mark (mrbartleboom) wrote,

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The Hunger Games - Spoilery stream of thoughts till Mockingjay

I need to vent. Last night I finished reading Mockingjay, and I was too sad but also too flailing to get a proper sleep time, and I think I fell asleep crying or something. I left my laptop in my parents' bedroom and I started to send texts, but only two friends received them, because I haven't credit on my cell anymore. Fail.

Anyway, I didn't see it coming. It was a war, and I took for granted people had to die. I half-expected Katniss herself dying at the end. No. Instead Prim blew up. I mean, WHUT? And also at the end of the chapter, always with that cliffhanger style Suzanne Collins seems to adore. ASDJKFASDKJL. Katniss sacrificed her life right at the beginning to save Prim's, and then, BAM. Prim's dead anyway. I sort of get Katniss' catatonic state afterwards. She wanted to kill herself too, she had nothing else to live for. She had this feeling of guiltness for so many deaths, including the one she tried to avoid since the beginning. And I wonder if Suzanne Collins has mother issues, because I simply doesn't get Katniss and Prim's mother's behaviour. Does she have a name, anyway? We knew she had this breakdown after her husband's death and that Katniss has always blamed her for this. But both in book 2 and 3, we don't have a single scene of some sort of reconciliation between Katniss and her. They're never alone. And when Prim dies, she simply disappears. She works and leaves Katniss a letter. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? She's your only daughter now. She's all the family you have, and she's not just a random girl. She's been in the Hunger Games TWICE. She started a revolution and she saved a country, for you and your daughter. Leaving Katniss alone in that state = suicide sooner or later.

I was in a shock state since Prim's death till Katniss reached again District 12. The moment I had my personal breakdown was when Buttercup came back. I'm thinking again to that scene and my eyes are filling with tears. Oh god. And the scene had a replay when Peeta came back too, and she brought primroses for the garden. I was dead at the point. And the last sentence at the end of the book (excluding the Epilogue), killed me on the spot. REAL. IT'S REAL. YES. YES.

I know and understood what Manu said about the shipping and I perfectly know this Katniss/Peeta is more an unrequited love than a legendary love. I feel Katniss like a sort of Vampire Slayer status. She's alone and she couldn't fully trust or love another human being ever, especially after all she has lived. She already had decided no weddings/children, and she agreed to them after 15-20 years of relationship with Peeta. Peeta is the reason for her to continue her life. We always sense this sense of bitterness and sadness from Katniss, even at the end, even with the children. She'll never recover. And I'm not saying that with Gale would have been better. Probably the opposite. He was a total jerk, even if I appreciated a couple of things he said (like when he admits when he realized he loved Katniss). But how can you reject anyone bringing primroses to your door? That's it. No brainwashings nor sisters' deaths could ever divide those two. #TEARS #SOMEBODYHOLDME

Moment of personal smugness, probably shared with many others = I got Katniss was going to shoot Coin instead of Snow the moment she voted yes for another Hunger Games. GO KATNISS, GO. ANARCHY FOREVER. Thank god I haven't guessed that all I was reading was allucinations because I would've went berserk.

I feel like I want more. I wanted more mythology. I wanted to know what happened in the rest of the world in this dystopian future. We got that Panem is North America. What about Europe? They had other issues? Other versions of Hunger Games? They mentioned Rome and latin words once and I was flailing. I wanted to know more about the other Hunger Games and all the victors. I don't want to believe the last ones were the ones who voted at last. That would mean Tigris is dead and I liked her. We never had a glimpse of the trial for Katniss or the reactions of people at home while she was in the Hunger Games. I know the books are from Katniss POW but I can't help it. I WANT ALL THOSE THINGS.
Tags: books, mockingjay, shipping, the hunger games
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